Really Relating

Stationery card

2011-11-10T18:13:00.001-08:00

Wishing You Merry Christmas Card

Shutterfly has classic, elegant Christmas invitations for your party.

View the entire collection of cards.

Come to Jesus

2010-05-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28

Come to Jesus and get some good rest. Sounds great, but what does this verse really mean? Obviously Jesus didn’t mean that He’d put us to sleep if we came to Him! So, what did He mean?

The word “[1]rest” here comes from an action verb meaning Jesus would cause us to recover and collect our strength. He would refresh us. He would keep us quiet, giving us a calm and patient expectation.

Anybody out there in need of a little rest? Some refreshment? Some calm and patient expectation? Yeah, I thought so. The harried mom of young children, the grieving daughter, the depressed teenager, the worried parent, the overworked and overburdened…from what I hear from those around me, I’m not alone in needing this kind of rest that Jesus alone can give. So…if Jesus promised us rest, why aren’t we experiencing it? Why are our hearts and minds and bodies like hamsters running round and round on a wheel that doesn’t get us anywhere, exhausted but unable to get off the blasted thing?! Ah yes, the promised rest is contingent on our doing one very simple thing…

Come to Jesus.

[2]Come hither. Come here. Come! Come now! That’s what the word “come” means here. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen so many exclamation marks in a dictionary! Clearly this is an urgent command. Scripture’s engraved invitation sent for you and I. We must come to Jesus and we must do it now!

Regardless of what else God ever asks us to do, this is where it all begins and ends. Coming to Jesus. We’re not to passively pray to God before we eat a meal or start to read His Word. We’re to urgently come to Jesus all the time. When life is full, as well as when it seems painfully empty. When there’s no more space on our To Do lists and when our wandering minds are keeping us up at night. We need to learn from His example, receive His Comforter, hang on to His wisdom, and receive this refreshing calm and patient expectation. The expectation of receiving not only His rest, but of receiving Him.

Oh God, we come to You now. Help us to keep coming.

REALLY RELATING

How do you come to Jesus throughout your day? Do you have any practical tips you’d care to share?

[1] Thayer and Smith. "Greek Lexicon entry for Anapauo". "The NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon". . 1999.

[2] As above.

HOPE in the LORD

2010-05-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

Feeling weary? Looking for HOPE in all the wrong places?

28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

*HOPE is a verb here that means

to wait, look for, hope, expect

waiting

to wait or look eagerly for

to lie in wait for

to wait for, linger for

to collect, bind together

to be collected

God understands us far better than we understand ourselves. He knows that on our own we are weary and worn slick from life. We are overwhelmed and embarrassed to be so. Where can we find the HOPE we so desperately need to maneuver through the mess that we are? Ah, from Him, of course! He has all the strength and power we need! He is the Everlasting God! The Creator of the ends of the earth – those ends that include you and me! His resources are inexhaustible! He never wearies and His understanding is infinitely beyond our understanding.

The secret to our soaring vs. sinking is to draw from HIS inexhaustible resources, not ours. We don’t have to muster up enough strength or hope to make it. If we have accepted and placed personal faith in His Son, we have GOD Himself living and breathing inside of us! If we HOPE in Him, He WILL give us everything we need for life and godliness. We have HIS Word on it! Our strength WILL BE RENEWED! We WILL soar!

Oh God, help us place our HOPE in YOU, not in shaky circumstances. You are more than what we need. Help us look at YOU, to You, and for You. Help us look and wait for the sights and sounds of Your Presence with the kind of eager expectation that expects to find You. Oh God, be obvious to and in us. YOU ARE our HOPE.

REALLY RELATING

Are you weary from the circumstances or pace of your life? How can you place your HOPE in God that you might be renewed?

*The NAS Old Testament Hebrew Lexicon, Brown, Driver, Briggs and Gesenius.

Land of the Living, Part 2

2010-05-12T22:18:00.000-07:00

13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living!

14 Wait for the LORD; be strong,

and let your heart take courage;

wait for the LORD!

- Psalm 27:13-14

It’s been a rocky road finding my way back to the Land of the Living.

In Part 1 of this Land of the Living post, I wrote of God beautifully bringing me to the hope-infused verses of Psalm 27:13-14. Smack dab in the messy middle of grief, He reminded me that there is goodness to be seen this side of Heaven. I shared the meanings behind the words in verse 13, so I’ll focus here on verse 14. May these words encourage you today.

Wait for

: to look for, hope, expect; to look eagerly for, to lie in wait for, to linger for.

While you and I will have weeks like my last one where the heartbreaking hits kept coming, God has promised us a more and better life than we ever dreamed of. Psalm 27:14 reminds me that life isn’t going to be all bad from here to Heaven. Some days, I need to hang around and look for the sights and sounds of His presence a little harder. I need to look and listen with the eager expectation due Him.

The LORD

: Jehovah = "the existing One"; the proper name of the one true God.

We’re not to wait because it’s nicer than throwing a fit. We’re to wait because He is the One True God. He really and truly is! The sights and sounds of His presence are worth waiting on. The LORD is with us in every situation of our lives. We are never alone. Somehow, someway, He will make Himself apparent.

Be strong

: to strengthen, prevail, become strong, be firm, grow firm, be resolute; to make strong, restore to strength, to strengthen oneself.

We’re not just told to be strong, but to grow in this area. We’re to actively strengthen ourselves and become stronger. The best way I’ve found to do that is to do what I’m doing here: run to God’s Word for truth, take it apart for understanding, claim it, and hang onto it for dear life!

Let your heart

Heart: inner man; as seat of appetites, emotions, passions, and courage.

We must do all that it takes to feed our heart – our appetites, emotions, and courage – with God’s truth. Among other reasons, we must do this to fight the thoughts and emotions that want to take us down a deep dark hopeless hole. I know that hole and trust me, you do not want to go there.

Take courage

Take: be determined, persist in.

Courage: to be strong, brave, bold, solid; assure; to exhibit strength.

Don’t give up or in, these words admonish us. We’re to stand firm when all around us is shaking.

Wait for the LORD

Again with the waiting for the LORD! Apparently God thought we needed to hear this twice. Surely that means it’s extra important that we do. So…that’s where you find me now…

Still waiting.

With eager expectation.

For the One Existing LORD.

Letting my heart take courage.

Yeah…waiting.

Join me, won’t you?

Really Relating

What helps you to wait on God? Favorite verse or activity???

Do you have a verse that you hang onto when life gets tough?

The Land of the Living, Part 1 of 2

2010-04-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

Seriously God, where do I begin?

Feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to tackle all the To Dos weighing upon you? Those were my exact feelings the morning after my father’s funeral. However, I’m finding some solid, practical, much needed hope in Psalm 27:13-14,

13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living!

14 Wait for the LORD; be strong,

and let your heart take courage;

wait for the LORD!

Let’s look at verse 13 today, and then we’ll tackle verse 14 later this week.

Believe

We must nourish and foster our trust in God. Immerse ourselves in what’s true - God’s Word. Stand on it. Be carried by it. Regardless.

See

Observe and cause to observe. Don’t just know how life with God is supposed to be, but actually look for the sights and sounds of His presence…causing others to see them as well.

Goodness of the Lord

Life is not all mystery, and it shouldn’t go down just like bad tasting medicine. Goodness means there IS fairness, beauty and joy. We’ve just got to open our eyes, ears, hearts and minds to see God’s goodness! Sorting through my parents things, I’m finding God’s goodness on sticky notes they’ve left to guide me, a note my Dad left assuring me of his love, a sister who is by my side, a helpful husband with the mind for business that I don’t have, friends remembering to pray for me, and a God who reminds me often that He will never leave me.

Land of the Living

This hope-filled phrase means the whole earth or ends of the earth. It originally meant reviving, sustenance, revival, renewal, and community. Picture Spring – nature coming out in all it’s glory with a profusion of green leaves, pink blossoms on Redbud trees, and yellow daffodils sprouting up everywhere. As long as we’re here on Earth, God has life for us to live! Warmth for us to feel. Work for us to do. Community for us to enjoy!

No matter how many things are on our To Do list today, believing God has got to top them all. We must believe that we will see His goodness here in The Land of the Living.

“I do believe; help my unbelief.” – Mark 9:24

Really Relating

Where and how are you seeing the goodness of the Lord?

Honoring Dad

2010-04-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Most people don’t say good-bye to one parent on the anniversary of the exact same day that their other parent died. However…nothing could seem more fitting for us. For although our Dad was many things:

· a shy boy

· ornery young man

· loving son and brother

· brave marine

· skilled carpenter

· trusted realtor

· loyal friend

· humble, good man and an

· exceedingly proud father and granddad

He was first and foremost:

A head over heels,

Openly adoring,

Deeply devoted,

And actively loving husband.

He was crazy about our mother!

Although Dad was a quiet man, we grew up hearing him often tell us that our mother had everything from the perfect nose to the perfect toes. His words and actions repeatedly told us that he believed she was the best thing that ever happened to him.

If Dad was in the Living Room watching TV and Mom was in the kitchen, he would call out, “Shirley Ann, where are you? I can’t see you! Come in here.” He always wanted her by his side.

Grieving our Mom, living life, and fighting terminal cancer all with Dad these past several years has been the most difficult gift we both NEVER wanted, BUT feel PRIVILEGED to have received.

Because Mom was gone, we got to experience a concentrated amount of time with Dad. Side by side, we got to do all the Dr’s visits, chemo treatments, scans, etc. We’ve shared more meals, tears, hugs and “I love you”s in these past 4 years with him than we had in our entire lives up to that point. And, every single day we were with Dad, he reminded us of that he truly, deeply loved our Mother and us.

This has been the silver lining in our cloud of cancer.

This has been our gift.

Our time together also reminded us of a truth that we are infinitely proud of,

Although our Dad was small in stature,

He was colossal in character.

We are blessed to have had a father who showed us how to live and how to die with integrity, dignity, loyalty and honor.

Because of all this, we genuinely want to thank you for honoring our Dad today. We know that many of you have known and loved our parents for decades. They treasured the memories you shared and spoke of you all. May your memories of their lives and their love continue to encourage and inspire you…as it does us.

With deepest gratitude for your love and support,

Vickey and Stacey

(Clem & Shirley’s girls)

This is the letter that was read at my Dad's celebration service yesterday, April 15th. He died the same day as my mom and was buried on the same day as her.

Living In Transition

2010-04-06T21:18:00.000-07:00

We are all in transition.

Think about it…

Seasons of Life.

Jobs/Careers.

Relationships.

Education.

Location.

We’re either moving toward or away from some thing. Some one. Some place.

Some transitions are welcomed. Even sought. Others are fought with a frenzied vengeance. Avoided like a life-sucking plague. Regardless of how we feel about them...transitions are inevitable.

Do you feel lost in transition?

If so, I know exactly how you feel. I am in the middle of the single biggest transition of my life. I feel like one of those people you see in a snow globe, at the mercy of someone constantly shaking up their little world. Honestly, I sometimes feel dizzy. And, well, I don’t like snow.

But you and I…we’re not plastic figures trapped in a cheap glass globe. We are handmade, one-of-a-kind creations, crafted by a God who has promised us a future and a hope. We weren’t created to be lost, but to live, even in transition. God is doing a work IN US, and I’m confident He wants our cooperation!

We are in process. Which, interestingly, is what transition really means: a process of change, a linking.

Today’s process is part of our journey - our linking from one thing to the next. How we respond to these transitional times will undeniably affect our ability to embrace what’s ahead. Will we merely begrudge what we’ve lost or graduated from? Will we stay locked in a world of memory – of what would of/should of/could of been? Will we so long for what’s been taken that we look right past what we now have? So fear what’s potentially ahead that we don’t fully live today?

How do we embrace this journey of transition?

That’s my question. Got any ideas? I’m listening…

Really Relating

Where are you in transition? How are you embracing your time in transition?

Cell Phone Messages From God

2010-04-01T13:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a cell phone message from God?

This past Monday, I received two very upsetting phone calls from my Dad’s Hospice nurse. Among the things she said was that she felt He would probably plummet at any time. And, I was stuck about 25 states away in the middle of a Spring Break littered with sold-out flights clear across the country.

I opened my eyes the next morning and begged God to please get my son and I home to my Dad. Then, I checked the messages on my cell phone. In the midst of the mayhem, I saw an email that I get from a website called the daily verse. This was my unedited cell phone message from God:

“And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land.

Then you shall know that I am he LORD; I have spoken, and I will do it, declares the LORD.

- Ezekiel 37:14

Let us be encouraged by this passage from the story of the dry bones being brought to life.

Be reminded of God’s willingness to fill us with His Spirit, put us where we need to be

and finish what He has started in us.”

Really, God? You will place me in my own land? You will put me where I need to be? You have spoken and You will do it?

Then…God gave me the next two and a half days to ponder whether or not I would believe what the Spirit within me so strongly proclaimed would indeed happen. The most hair-raising rental car return I have had in thirteen years of concentrated traveling. Two separate sets of cancelled flights. An extra night added vs. the hoped-for flying home early.

But…here I am, a week later, sitting next to my Daddy and still thanking God for placing me in own land and for once again showing me that He will do what He says He will do.

Even when absolutely everything else tells me otherwise.

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

- Hebrews 4:12 NAS

REALLY RELATING

How has God used His Word to speak to you lately?

Growing Up Mom

2010-03-09T16:36:00.000-08:00

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

- Elizabeth Stone

Motherhood is tough on a girl!

Last weekend was Mom’s Weekend at my son’s university. He’s just a freshman, and it’d been a month since I’d seen him. That boy owns a king-size place in my heart. I’m ridiculously crazy about him. I drove four hours in eager anticipation of seeing his smile in person and of getting one of his bear hugs. But, I also drove with apprehension. Great apprehension. You see, Mom’s Weekend wasn’t the only reason I was heading his way. I was also going to meet the girl…why-is-it-soooo-hard-to-say…friend.

Yep, his girlfriend.

For eighteen years he’s successfully avoided the ups and downs of romance due to some very strong convictions that he didn’t want to date while he was still young. He’s looked right past all the adorable daughters of my closest friends, the sharp young ladies from his youth group, the fun girls he’s grown up around.

BAM! Until he met this one.

This one whom I’d never even met. This one who was stealing a piece of my boy’s heart.

I’ve never really had a problem with sharing. But…sharing him? Are you kidding?! There was a piece of me who really didn’t even want to like her. Isn’t that awful to admit? Oh, What if she didn’t like me? I couldn’t help but wonder. That could be colossally awful! The closer I got to his college, the more I thought, This could change everything, and I didn’t know until that moment how very much I really didn’t want anything to change.

I liked things the way they were.

As the clock ticked faster and the college loomed closer, I prayed hard that God would get my heart where it needed to be. That He would help me to embrace the changes in my world. I quoted verses to myself and prayed some more.

Wouldn’t you know…she was a delight!

After all the gymnastics my heart went through, the visit was a lot of fun and I left feeling like maybe I could embrace this new adventure after all. I mean…I don’t want to rush it, or anything. But maybe, just maybe, I can learn to share. A little.

Growing up really is hard to do. Even for us Moms.

REALLY RELATING

What is one thing you find hard about growing up? How is it affecting you today?

SPRINGfever

2010-03-02T15:26:00.000-08:00

It's *spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! ~Mark Twain

Don’t you love that after every Winter there comes a Spring?

There’s only one thing that gets me through Winter. Seriously. Not Hot Chocolate. Not Christmas. Not cozy fires or freshly fallen snow.

It’s the promise of SPRING.

That’s what Spring is to me – God’s promise. It’s His rainbow in the sky, promising me that gray and dreary days will NOT last forever. That Hope IS on the way. Literally and figuratively.

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. – Hal Borland

Spring is the future I count on when life gets cold. When fun ceases to happen and reality bites.

Spring is what my heart hopes for. And counts on. Always. Spring is HOPE.

Keep your eyes open…Spring is coming for you too. Hope is just around the corner. The trees are about to burst into bloom!

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

- Proverbs 13:12, ESV

REALLY RELATING

What is your favorite season of the year, and why?

*This is the poem that made the phrase “spring fever” famous J.

Still The One

2010-02-26T08:36:00.000-08:00

February, the Month of Love, is drawing to a close. I can’t say good-bye to it without paying tribute to the man who still holds my heart in the palm of his hands.

I’ve been married for almost 27 years now, and I’ve never been more grateful. Should you not have a husband, or should you have one that you'd like to whack over the head with a frying pain, please don't slam your computer shut or start yelling obscenities at me. I know how fortunate I am.

But, you probably don’t know why.

For the first 23 years, I was a really good wife. I worked hard at it. Constantly. Although far from perfect, I read numerous books and attended seminars on marriage, cooked and cleaned when I didn’t want to, embraced my husband’s family to the point that they truly become my own, trusted and followed him even when I wasn’t crazy about his decisions, made lists of all the reasons I was grateful for him, washed his dirty clothes, ran his errands, supported his dreams, served alongside him, prayed for him diligently, altered what I wanted to do and how, only spoke well of him, and tried with every fiber of my being to love my Brian like he wanted and needed to be loved. I even learned to like fish!

There are 2 problems with the above scenario. The first being that while it might make me sound good, the truth is that Brian made this all embarrassingly easy. Seriously. The man is the epitome of a servant leader. I’ve never met anyone that is easier to love and respect, more sacrificial and generous.

The second problem is that our lives took a violent turn 4 years ago and my little world was rocked. Tragedy upon tragedy left me feeling I didn’t have much to give to him or anyone else. But Brian, well he became more supportive, more loving, and more sacrificial.

That is why I’m grateful.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble.”

Although he was hurting too, when I was at my worst, Brian refused to leave me there. He reached out and tried to pick me up. Again and again and again. That is my love story in the making.

Oh, how I do love that man. After all these years, he’s still the one I want to say “I Do” to.

Really Relating

Is there someone in your world who has fallen and feels all alone? There’s no alone like that alone. That is real trouble. How would God have you reach out and help them today?

TOP 20 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY GIRLFRIENDS

2010-02-23T21:29:00.000-08:00

“A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.”

My girlfriends happen to be among THE most amazing women on this planet! They have added fun and laughter, encouragement and unparalleled prayer support during the best and worst seasons of my life. I love them with a passion that defies description and pray God rains down His favor on them. Should He choose to send us all on a fully paid, month-long beach vacation somewhere that is blissfully warm, AND allow us all to look magnificently well in our bathing suits…well, I’d appreciate that too J!

In honor of their FABULOUSNESS, here are The Top 20 Things I LOVE About My Girlfriends. I LOVE That My Girlfriends:

1. Understand that chocolate is NOT an option.

2. Believe that calories don’t count if you share the desert.

3. Challenge, encourage, and inspire me in ridiculous amounts.

4. Commiserate with me the effects of hormones, time & gravity.

5. Don’t edit all my exclamation marks!!!

6. Come to my rescue when I’m in over my head.

7. Never make me talk WHILE I’m crying.

8. Care about me and those I love.

9. Hold my hand, let me cry, clean my house, feed my family, & cover me in prayer when my world falls apart.

10. Think I’m funnier, smarter, and far more talented than I really am J

11. Send me sympathy cards when my animals die.

12. Come in all shapes & sizes, color & chronological age.

13. Buy tacky cards and great presents for my birthday.

14. Treat me like I’m family – the family that they like!

15. Let me ramble. And ramble. And ramble.

16. Are warm, witty, fun, friendly, deep, purposeful, kind, caring, & faithful.

17. Come when I call.

18. Don’t make me explain how I got from one thought to another.

19. Love me, just as I.

20. Let me love them.

I LOVE My Girlfriends!

Really Relating

What is one thing you most appreciate about your friends? Go ahead, brag on ‘em!

Put Your Love On Paper

2010-02-19T23:30:00.000-08:00

I have one. My daughter has one. You probably have one too.

Whether they’re tucked away in a shoebox under your bed, saved in a folder on your computer, or stuck in a drawer of your desk. Whether they’re from your parents, friends, sweetheart, a teacher, or a combination of them all. Whether they’re mushy or simply encouraging. Somewhere, I’m guessing you have a card, letter, or an email…

You have a love note.

Why do we keep these notes of encouragement and affirmation? Why do we hold on to these expressions of love and appreciation?

Life is hard.

It wears us down and throws dirt on our fairy tale dreams. We don’t always get the job, the boy or girl, the life we thought we wanted. Or, if we did get the life we wanted, it brought with it a boatload of reality that we never bargained for.

So we go to our love notes; these priceless reminders that someone, somewhere, believed in us. They appreciate our efforts. They think we’re special.

Because someone took the time to put their love for us on paper, we can hold their words in our hands and be reminded of the one thing that we need to know above all else,

We. Are. Loved.

So save those words of love and encouragement. Treasure them. Bask in them. Hold them in your hands and read them over and over again. But, whatever you do,

Put your own love on paper.

Take the time to put your love for someone on paper today. You may be the love note they’re looking for.

Really Relating
Who will you write today? Go ahead, put your love on paper. Tell someone thank you for something particular. Acknowledge their gifts and potential. Thank them for being there for you. Be the love note they’re looking for.

Puppy Love

2010-02-16T15:53:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been loved by a puppy?

The slobbery kisses, wildly wagging tail, and adorable little face that licks you relentlessly with a no-holds-barred kind of love…there’s nothing like it!

Wikipedia’s dictionary says the term “puppy love” came from the adoring, worshipful affection that may be felt by a puppy. I mean really, who doesn’t appreciate a little worship every now and then? J

Fourteen years ago, the sweetest ball of fluff bounded into my family’s home and captured our hearts forever. One look at our Golden Retriever puppy and we were goners. Smitten beyond belief. As he grew, so did our love for him.

We had to say good-bye forever to our Tanner last week. But, being wildly loved by him taught us a lot about how to express love to others. We’ve learned:

· How you greet someone can make his or her entire day.

· Everything is better when someone sits at your feet and listens.

· Treats are always a good thing.

· You can never be petted enough.

· Loyalty is the loveliest of traits.

· What you do is not nearly as important as who you have beside you.

Ah yes, it's good to be loved by a dog. We’ll be forever grateful to the one who loved us and let us love him. We love you, Tan. Always.

Really Relating

Have you been loved by a dog? Tell me about it. What have they taught you?

Daddy's Little Girl

2010-02-05T05:36:00.000-08:00

One of the purest forms of love has to be the love of a little girl for her Dad. Today is my Dad’s birthday. Although I’m no longer little, he is still the hero of my heart.

As I celebrate my Dad today, I’m remembering a scene we lived out many times. I’d walk into the living room to find him stretched out on our gold velvet sofa, a bowl of freshly popped popcorn in his lap, intently watching football - a manly sport for a manly kind of guy. Then came the question there is no telling how many times I asked during my growing up years, “Who are we for Dad?” Next, I’d sit down and cheer for the team Dad said we were routing for. I don’t remember it ever occurring to me to cheer for the other team. One thing was for certain: I was for Dad’s team.

When I became a Junior High cheerleader, Dad sat me down and painstakingly coached me at home on the game of football. He flattened out a newspaper on the kitchen counter, using it as a chalkboard to diagram the lineup of the team, making sure I knew the roles of each and every player. I can still see those Xs and Os now. This was one cheerleader who would never yell “D-E-F-E-N-S-E” when her team had the ball!

Over the years Dad taught me about a lot more than football. He ran beside me and held on to the handlebars as I wobbled up and down our driveway learning to ride a bike. He sat next to me and taught me how to drive a car. Like the ex-Marine he is, he showed me where the pressure points were on a person and how to defend myself. He helped me buy my first car, made me apologize to my Mom when I hurt her feelings, celebrated the good grades I made, and somehow made me believe I could be anything I wanted to be.

Yes, a lot of years have passed since these memories. These days, I sit beside Dad during his chemo treatments and am more grateful for his love and character than ever before. But one thing remains the same: Whose team am I for? Forever and always, I am for my Dad.

Really Relating

What’s a favorite memory you have of growing up in your house? Share it, please!

It's All About Love

2010-02-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

Welcome to February: The Month of Love!

Yes, this is the month that makes greeting card companies and sellers of chocolate dance with glee. Candied conversation hearts and red roses take center stage. Romantic comedies light up the movie screens and singles everywhere get depressed over their lack of a significant other! Fortunately, love is much more than all these things. I’d like to take this entire month to blog about love and the relationships in our lives.

To get you in the mood for all things Valentine, first hop on over to http://www.faithclipart.com/video/happy-valentines-day-video-animation.html. It offers some fun-filled Valentine’s Day facts and an inspirational message at the end that will assure you of a breathtakingly beautiful fact:

You Are God’s Valentine.

Read that last sentence again. Let it redecorate your heart. Whether you’re married, divorced, engaged, widowed, or single, you are loved by God.

That Bible sitting on your shelf…it’s a collection of His love letters to you. Since it’s far easier to love others when our own love tank is full, lets look at some of my favorite love notes from God:

I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. -Jeremiah 31:3

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” – 1 John 3:1

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:35-39

Forever and always. Lavishly. Actively. Knowing your bad side. Inseparable. That’s how God loves you.

Take this Love Challenge: Begin every day this month by reminding yourself that you are God’s Valentine AND read a love note from Him!

Really Relating

How does it feel to know you are lavishly loved by God?

How should knowing this affect the other relationships in our lives?

A Future and A Hope

2010-01-29T14:57:00.000-08:00

“What if things don’t get better?”

That’s the question a hurting friend asked me last week. It was a valid question, considering her circumstances. In a desperate attempt to encourage her, loved ones keep telling my friend what loved ones often say when we’re hurting:

“Things will get better.”

But...what if they don’t?

I understand her question; honestly, it’s one I’ve asked God before. Like my friend, I live with chronic physical pain. Every flipping day. And some days, well, if I’m honest (and I am), I’m just done. Finished. Worn slick from painting on a happy face, I can’t help but wonder if this is as good as it gets. My weary self wants to focus on all the things I can’t do because of wacked out discs and the potentially grim future ahead.

Ahhh…but then I remember a precious promise from God,

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD.

They are plans for good and not for disaster,

to give you a future and a hope."

- The Bible, Jeremiah 29:11

While that might not change my circumstances, it radically rearranges my reality. Because of Him,

I have a future.

I have a hope.

The God of the Bible doesn’t do random. He’s the same God who created the plants before He created the animals and people who would need the plants to survive. He’s a God of logic and order. Along with His profound purposefulness, He is loving and not mean-spirited. That means that as long as He leaves me here on planet Earth, He has good reason. He has plans with my name of them; Plans for my good. A future filled with hope.

You know what?

The same is true for you.

Really Relating

How does it make you feel to know that God has plans with your name on them?

What God (Sweetly) Shouts In Our Pain

2010-01-26T19:01:00.000-08:00

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

– C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Do you ever feel surrounded by hurting people?

Look around you now. They’re everywhere. From Haiti to your own home, people are hurting. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, people are flat worn out from dealing with pain.

Maybe it’s the person sitting in your chair.

During the darkest night of my soul, when I was sure that I could NOT handle one more miniscule drop of pain and thought I seriously just might lose my ever lovin’ mind, I did the only thing I knew to do: I ran to God. Kicking. Screaming. Crying uncontrollably. Arms flailing. Heart questioning. Desperate.

It was the smartest thing I ever did.

I opened up His Word, leaned in close, and listened with every fiber of my being. Here is what God (sweetly) shouted to me:

I Understand

As I looked closely at Jesus’ life, I drew huge comfort from the fact that He also was so deeply moved when a beloved friend died that He couldn’t keep the tears from flowing. He knew what it felt like to be overwhelmed with sorrow, to feel abandoned by His friends, and to be so undone by His circumstances that He begged God to change them. As I saw Him described as despised and forsaken, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, I knew that Jesus understood pain. God walked around this earth on human legs and felt the same kind of pain that you and I experience.

And. He. Cried.

I See and Hear YOUR Pain

God doesn’t just know pain, He knows our pain. Psalm 139 promises that He searches and knows us so intimately that He knows our very thoughts and what we’re going to say before we even say it. He cares deeply when our hearts are broken. He begs us to pour out our hearts to Him, offering to be the refuge we need.

I Will Never Leave You

When His disciples where upset that He was leaving this earth, Jesus assured them that God would follow up by forevermore sending His believers the Holy Spirit to live inside them, ensuring He’d be with us forever. Throughout Scripture He lovingly assures us that He will never leave us to manage life on our own.

I Will Take Care of You

Among His many promises, this is perhaps the most comforting for me,

“Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) No amount of pain is bigger than the God who holds onto us. That is comfort you can count on.

What has God (sweetly) shouted to you in your pain?

Bible Study Resources

2010-01-22T10:57:00.000-08:00

“Your words were found and I ate them,

And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart…”

Jeremiah 15:16

Nothing yummier than truly tasting God’s Word! In my last post, How to A.P.P.L.Y. God’s Word, I shared an acrostic I created that’s helped me to slow down and more personally feast on the flavors of Scripture. But because there’s a plethora of great Bible Study resources available today, I thought I’d share some of my other current favs:

Can We Talk?: soul-stirring conversations with God, Priscilla Shirer (Lifeway Press) www.goingbeyond.com/sites/default/files/content/CanWeTalk_Leader.pdf

Powerhouse Bible teacher Priscilla Shirer’s latest Bible Study (or un-Bible Study, as she calls it), this workbook focuses on her 5 Ps to Hearing God Through Scripture. The women I’m going through it with now are loving it! You can peak at the free downloadable Leaders Guide and find her 5 Ps there.

A Modern Girl’s Guide to Bible Study: A Refreshingly Unique Way to Look at God's Word, Jen Hatmaker (NavPress) www.jenhatmaker.com

“Refreshing” is definitely the adjective for this book and author. Written in an extremely girl-friendly voice, Jen Hatmaker is a hoot! She gives authenticity new meaning and combines solid Biblical chops with some of the most practical tips and examples I’ve ever seen. Not a book to be just read, Jen has put it together in a way that allows you to work through the methods as you go. You’ll be shocked to see how fun studying your Bible can be J!

Personal Bible Study Methods: 12 Ways to Study the Bible on Your Own, Rick Warren (Zondervan) www.rickwarren.com

With over 75,000 copies of this book in print, Rick could not have made it easier for us to study our Bibles. Seriously. Each chapter highlights one

Method of Bible Study, gives an example of a study using it, then gives permission to copy a blank form for that study. Very gracious of him and good news for us. Not an extra word used here – practicality at it’s best.

How to Study Your Bible: The Lasting Rewards of the Inductive Method, Kay Arthur (Harvest House Publishers) www.precept.org

Getting serious with God’s Word is what this lady is all about. Pull out your colored pencils and get ready to learn how to take God’s Word apart piece by piece. Nobody does it better than Kay!

You can also find free online resources to help you study @:

www.crosswalk.com, www.biblegateway.com, www.blueletterbible.org, www.biblestudytools.com,

www.bible.org, & www.christianitytoday.com/bible.

Let these resources help you take a bite out of God’s Word and apply it to your life. You’re in for far more than a tasty treat. Joy and delight are headed your way!

Really Relating

I’d love to hear what resources have most helped you. Please do let us all know!

How to A.P.P.L.Y. God's Word

2010-01-19T06:44:00.000-08:00

Thirty years ago this month I led my very first weekly Bible Study. I’d never been so scared in my life! Lying in bed the night before, I silently told God all the reasons why I was the absolute worst candidate in the world to lead a Bible Study. It was a fairly substantial list J. My loudest objections included:

· I had absolutely zero theological background – I didn’t even know what that meant!

· I’d only learned to study my own Bible the year before.

· I was so uncomfortable speaking in front of groups that with many tears I’d begged my 7^th grade Speech teacher to let me drop her class.

· I had a gigantic inferiority complex.

Need I say more? Surely God could have found a better candidate, right? But, what He did find in me was a girl who had absolutely positively fallen in love with Him and His Word. After years of trying to read and understand the Bible on my own, someone finally taught me how to do so. This so radically changed my life that all the rational reasons in the world couldn’t keep me from helping others learn how to feed themselves from Scripture!

Do you have trouble applying God’s Word to your life? If so, here’s a simple acrostic I’ve created that’s helped me. These are 5 Questions you can ask yourself anytime you come into contact with God’s Word and are wondering how He would have you A.P.P.L.Y. it your life:

A – ADMISSION to make

Is there something within this passage that I need to admit? (an attitude, etc)

P – PROMISE to claim

Is there a promise that I can personally claim for my life?

P – PRAISE to pray

Is there something I need to praise/thank God for? (characteristic of His, etc)

L – LESSON to learn

Is there a lesson here that I need to learn?

Y – YIELDING to do

Is there something I just need to stop and yield to?

Not every question will be pertinent for every Scripture, but your intentional focus will allow God and His Word to become far more personal to you. Find a passage and A.P.P.L.Y. it to your own life. I’m confident you’ll find yourself falling deeper in love with God and His Love Letter to you.

Really Relating

What’s your favorite Bible Study tip?

What helps you to apply God’s Word to your everyday life?

The Miracle of Hope

2010-01-13T08:28:00.000-08:00

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over,

it became a butterfly.”

- Anonymous

Have you ever seen a miracle? Years ago, when my children were small, we witnessed the miraculous rebirth of not one, but five caterpillars. Within a week, we watched a group of scrawny looking worms eat their way into becoming a bunch of fat and fuzzy caterpillars. They then hung themselves head down and wove cocoons about their bodies. Up to then, watching them had been fascinating. At that point, however, they became chrysalides and looked like nothing more than hard pea pods.

Although we eagerly watched for signs of life, it was actually kind of depressing just staring at pea pods for another week. It looked like the party was over. But then…a miracle happened! The lifeless looking pods transformed before our very eyes into breathtakingly beautiful butterflies.

As I look around me now, I can’t help but see people who remind me of those butterflies in the making. Their once eventful lives have been abruptly turned upside down by the challenges of life. Illness, divorce, grief, depression, wayward children, job losses, financial reversals and hormones gone haywire have given the misguided impression that their world is over. But alas, what is going on beneath the surface has the potential to grace our world with a beauty that we are all in desperate need of - the matchless miracle of Hope.

I don’t know what challenges you are facing, but my own experiences of being locked inside my cocoon have assured me that things are not always as they seem. Hope has not gone dormant. Because there is a God, new life is more than possible. You are not destined to inch along like a hungry caterpillar, or to hang around like a dried up pod. You were born to fly.

Please don’t give up. Hang on to God and His promises. Allow Him to comfort and strengthen you like only He can. Eventually, He will transform you into someone whose story reminds others that they too can soar above their circumstances.

There is a butterfly within you. New life and beauty are just around the corner. Go ahead…unfurl those wings! Become all that God longs for you to be.

Really Relating

How has God encouraged you during the challenges in your life?

How has He used your difficulties to transform you from the inside out?

Beginning Again

2010-01-06T07:53:00.000-08:00

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

– C.S. Lewis

A new year means a new beginning. There’s something so hopeful about new beginnings, isn’t there? We love the idea that we can have a fresh start, no matter what we’ve done or who we’ve been. We can join a gym, tackle a new Bible Reading plan, try our hand at a new hobby, or finally learn to play the piano.

Although a new year is a fresh start, it isn’t exactly a blank slate. While we can start over, we aren’t like a new calendar or journal with empty pages of promise just waiting to be filled. We each come to the New Year with a powerful one-two punch that sets us up for a future that surpasses our wildest dreams.

PERSPECTIVE THAT COMES FROM OUR PERSONAL HISTORY

What do you know about yourself - your personality & temperament - that will help you to not just set goals and dream dreams, but to realize them? What normally helps you to succeed & what wears down your good intentions? Do you need accountability and short-term goals? Who can help you get to where you want to go? What knowledge do you need to do what you want to do? Take stock and then take aim with the perspective God has given you.

POSSIBILITIES THAT COME FROM THE GOD WHO LIVES IN US

If you’ve accepted Christ as the Savior that the Bible says He is, that means you bring all of His resources to your every goal and dream! His contacts, strength, tenacity, power, and more. He is the God that regularly makes what’s impossible possible! Allow Him to do in and through you what you could never do on your own.

As Andy Andrews wisely says in his inspiring book, The Traveler’s Gift, “A person without a dream never had a dream come true.” So go ahead…Set a new goal. Dream a new dream. It’s a New Year. God has great plans with your name on them. Ask Him how you can cooperate. You really can begin again.

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11, The Bible

Really Relating

What is one specific and measurable goal you’d like to set for 2010? How can what you know about yourself and the God who is IN you help you to realize your dream?

A Christmas Hangover

2009-12-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

Can you have a hangover if you don’t drink alcohol? Because I think that’s what I had the day after Christmas. Yeah, A Christmas Hangover, that’s what I’m calling it. I woke up at 1:00 in the afternoon!!!

I can hear all you mommas of young children now, groaning with glee at the mere thought of sleeping past 8 a.m., much less past noon. Mothers everywhere will attest to the fact that somewhere along the way, Christmas has become a lot of work for us. The shopping for food and presents, decorating, wrapping, goodie preparation, gift delivering, party hosting and attending, Christmas card crafting, stocking stuffing, and endless attention to creating and carrying out traditions…makes you tired again just thinking about it, doesn’t it?!

Even when we’re trying hard to focus on the manger, it’s easy to be worn out, if not sidetracked, by the mayhem. So, what’s a momma to do? Here’s my personal Christmas List for next year:

1. Start early.

2. Keep it simple.

3. Thank God everyday for the gift of Jesus.

Please feel free to remind me of what I just wrote, in case I start to get caught up in the fog of it all. I’d hate to miss seeing Jesus through the haze of activity. After all, He is the gift we’re supposed to be celebrating.

Merry CHRISTmas,

Vickey

Really Relating

How do you keep the mayhem to a minimum during the holidays?

Please, do share your tips with the rest of us!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!

2009-12-24T10:52:00.000-08:00

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,  

Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

Decorating our family Christmas tree has long been a favored Christmas tradition in our house. I loved the way my son explained why when he was just six years old,

“I like to hear the memories.” he sweetly said.

I knew exactly what he meant then, and I still feel the same way over a decade later. Every year, when I lift the lids off the boxes of ornaments, I could swear that I hear them talk! Even if carefully holding them in my hands didn’t prompt a memory, each ornament has a written description of who or where it came from, as well as what year we added it to our eclectic collection. When we carefully unwrap them, we remember “their story” and are transported back in time.

As I hold the tiny teddy bear sitting in the rocking chair, a smile spreads across my face as I remember my first Christmas as a mommy. Construction paper chains and pinecones piled high with glitter also flood my heart with memories of my chubby cheeked children dancing about my feet. Other handmade creations take me back to sitting side-by-side friends and family, laughing hard as we painted, sewed, cut and pasted our own masterpieces. And, as over half of the ornaments are from my Mom, I cannot help but be touched by the realization that her hands once lovingly chose and wrapped them with us in mind. I lightly kissed each of hers before prominently placing them on the tree this year.

And the trips we’ve taken! There are seashells, starfish, and a sailboat, all testifying to sun-kissed times at the ocean. Miniatures of the Lincoln Memorial, St. Louis Arch, Eifel Tower, and even a Pinocchio from Italy take me back to places we’ve played.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree…you do make my heart smile. Thank you for the memories.

Really Relating

What is your favorite Christmas tradition is and why. I can't wait to hear!

Everywhere I Go

2009-12-18T11:36:00.000-08:00

Who do you see when you look into the mirror?

Me? I see my Mother.

Every morning and every night, when I look into bathroom mirror to wash my face, brush my teeth, to put on or take off my make-up, I see her. First, I see her beautiful smiling face atop the Obituary that someone laminated on pink paper and sent me. I keep it taped to my mirror. Is that morbid? I never think of it as an Obituary. Never read the words actually, although I’m the one who wrote them. I just like to see her picture everyday, smiling back at me. She looks so happy, and that makes me smile. And when I smile, well that’s when I see her again. In me.

My mother is in me. Always. Everywhere I go.

My father says I have her perfect nose. I love that and I love that my son has it too. I have her figure, her walk, and the sound of her voice. Her smile is my favorite feature that we share. She gave me an appreciation for beauty and keeping family close. And she passed on her maniacal love for all things Christmas to my daughter.

Although I’ve been a walking reminder of my Mom to people my whole life, the older I get, the more I see and hear her in me. I love that now, more than ever.

I love that I take my Mother with me…everywhere I go.

Really Relating

Who do you take with you? What personally traits and passions have you picked up from others? How has knowing them made an impression on who you see in the mirror? I’d love to hear!

Communication

2009-12-15T15:59:00.000-08:00

“Twitter? What’s Twitter?”

“It’s a form of online communication.”

“Like Facebook?

“Kinda.”

“I don’t do Facebook either. Should I be doing Facebook?”

There we were, a small group of long-time friends, supposedly enjoying an evening out together. Except that one or another of our cell phones kept ringing, somebody was showing their daughter’s senior pictures that were newly posted on Facebook, and someone else was checking her Twitter feeds. All while my friend Christi was trying to figure out if she was missing out on something because she’s not addicted to her cell phone or hooked up to blog, Twitter, or Facebook! The quizzical look on her face was priceless.

I’ve often wondered if all this new technology was truly helping or hindering our communication. Are these great tools that help us reconnect with old friends actually keeping us from genuinely connecting with those sitting next to us? Do we really need another “form of communication?”

Fortunately, God tells us in Psalm 139 that HE understands even our every thought from afar – that He knows our each and every word before it leaps from our lips or finds it’s voice through our fingertips! Apparently, we communicate with Him even when we’re not trying to do so! God is getting our messages. Loud and clear. Real time. No sitting around waiting for Him to notice some blinking light or un-clicked message. No lost in cyberspace until He takes a few moments to look us up online.

Whether we think it, sing it, say it, or put it on paper, He gets every single one of our messages – no matter how many of us are talking at the same time, in multitudes of ways and languages. Scripture assures us that He completely comprehends what we’re thinking, feeling, and meaning…even we don’t understand ourselves! He gets us.

Now that’s THE form of communication we all need.

Really Relating

How does knowing that God gets you (your thoughts and feelings) make you feel?

What is your favorite way of communicating your thoughts and feelings to Him?

Fighting Mad

2009-12-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

I knew I was getting sick when I went to bed Monday. Drainage in the throat, head clogged up, couldn’t breathe, etc. By morning, I felt I’d been pummeled in a prize fight. Since I’m dealing with my Dad’s Cancer and Christmas – the most UNnormal of situations, I dragged my heavy head to the Doctor.

Explaining that although I was clearly contagious, the Dr. refused to write me a prescription. She said it was TOO EARLY in the stage of my cold and it wouldn’t help yet! That is when I lost it. Seriously. I couldn’t quit crying, blubbering on about not being able to expose my Dad, blah, blah, blah. Talk about embarrassing. I’ve dealt with chronic pain every day of my life for years. Fought grief and it’s accompanying depression with a maniacal vengeance. Painted a smile on my face when I wanted to drop kick my Father’s Cancer and Chemo. But…I cried because the Doctor wouldn’t give me a Z-pack!

Confident the Dr. surely thought I was an absolute nut case (and that I probably was!), I was hanging my head all the way home. Defeat written all over me. That’s when I remembered something Jesus said,

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

– Jesus, John 10:10

Normally, a hopeless romantic like me would be flattered over the idea of being fought over…but not like this! Thinking about Satan coming after my family and I immediately changed my mood. I got mad. I popped up my hanging head and said aloud in my car, ”Leave me alone! You can’t have me!”

Call me certifiably crazy, I don’t care. But know this: you too are being passionately pursued. God has a full and abundant life planned for you, one where there is hope even in the midst of madness. But slimy Satan has something far more sinister in mind. Let’s keep our guard up and our fighting gloves on. Let’s not let him take the life that is rightfully ours.

Really Relating

How is Satan messing with you? What has helped you to fight back?

Deeper Still: Ode to Kay

2009-12-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I know exactly what I want to be. I just saw it in action last weekend at a Deeper Still conference in my hometown. No, I don’t want to be the precise person I saw living out my dream, but please, oh please God, can I just be like her?

Kay Arthur. Think Women’s Bible Study and she has to come to your mind, the founder of Precepts International - the champion of Inductive Bible Study, colored pencils and soul-searching questions. She is tirelessly working around the world to teach people how to discover and apply God’s Word to their own lives.

A collective gasp resounded around the room when she said she was 76 years old. Looking sassy in her blonde hair, designer jeans, and fabulously fun jackets, she was asked how to age gracefully. Are you kidding, I wanted to scream! Sure she’s still “painting the barn” (her reference to taking care of herself) beautifully, but the IMPACT - the life-altering, destiny changing, international impact she’s making absolutely defies the imagination!

The photo montage of her ministry was a study in a wide variety of countries, cultures, and ages touched, while the decades of fashion pictured spoke of the 31 years she’s helped others personally apply the Bible. I loved that, but I was even more captivated by the fact that she’s still going strong! Still working every night, she couldn’t even answer a question without the Bible falling out of her mouth. With uncharacteristic candor and a tenacious addiction to studying God’s Word, she has altered and paved the way not only for modern day Bible teachers like myself, but also for students of the Bible everywhere.

Most people tire of the “job” that often defines them, but Kay is still hungry to go ever deeper with God. Still studying, eager to currently handle and accurately divide each and every book of the Bible! And so, to the Kay Arthurs, Elisabeth Elliotts, & Henry Blackabys - to all those who’ve gone before us, studying late into the night to wet our appetite for God’s Word…thank you again and again.

As I listened to Kay teach, I couldn’t help but mentally calculate: how many years before I’m 76? If I choose to go deeper still with God, what kind of impact could I make???

Really Relating

What teachers have most impacted you? How have they done so?

How would you most like to impact others, and how can you best do so?

Compassion in Action

2009-12-04T14:33:00.000-08:00

When the Lord saw her, his heart overflowed with compassion.

He was walking in and she was walking out. That simple fact rearranged her world. Her story is recorded in Luke 7 of the Bible, and it never ceases to move me to tears. It’s one of the most compelling examples of compassion in action that this world has ever seen. While He was Jesus, the living breathing Son of God who was somehow walking around planet Earth on a pair of human legs, the Bible simply refers to her as The Widow of Nain.

When the Bible says He “saw” her, it implies that He knew her pain like in such a way that He actually experienced it Himself. That’s powerful! And the word “compassion” doesn’t mean he just felt sorry for her. It’s from the Greek, meaning to have the bowls yearn, to feel sympathy, to pity, to be moved with compassion.[1]

As I’ve read and listened to your beautiful responses to my last blog post, Legacies in the Making, I was reminded of her story. Thank you for reminding me of Jesus. He is our premier example of what it means to truly care for another. Just as He walked over to the coffin of the Widow’s son and miraculously brought him back to life, He sees our painful situations today and moves to resurrect hope within us. And, since He’s turned in His human arms and legs, He’s allowing you and I to be His hands and feet to others.

Thank you for all the ways you’re touching the lives of those around you. May we be so cognizant of God’s overflowing love and compassion for us that we can’t possibly keep it for ourselves! May we be compelled to extravagantly pour it out on someone else. You’ve inspired me this week. Thanks for sharing your stories with me. Keep ‘em coming. A girl can never have too much inspiration!

Really Relating:

What is the kindest act of compassion someone has shown you?

Who do you know that needs you to be God’s hands and feet today? What can you do?

[1] Strong’s Greek and Hebrew Dictionary, PC Study Bible, CD ROM (Seattle, Wash.: Biblesoft, 1997).

For more on the Widow of Nain’s encounter with Jesus, see the Bible’s Luke 7 or my book, Sharing His Secrets: Intimate Insights From the Women Who Knew Jesus (Multnomah Publishers, 2001), p 34-55.

Legacies in the Making

2009-12-01T07:22:00.000-08:00

She’s been called a “no-nonsense Memphis supermom,” “a spitfire,” and probably a lot of other things less charitable by those who don’t understand her. The young man she took in because she saw him shivering in the rain…well, he just calls her “Mom.”

I’m talking, of course, about Leigh Anne Tuohy, one of the main characters of the recent box-office sensation, The Blind Side. Sandra Bullock apparently played her brilliantly, but Leigh Anne isn’t an Academy Award-winning actress. Her character wasn’t crafted by a best-selling author or a Hollywood screenwriter. In a word, she’s real. And that’s what makes her genuinely inspiring.

I want to be a Leigh Anne Tuohy. I want to leave a legacy worth emulating.

I don’t want to be just another of the “ladies who lunch” set. I don’t want to be another well-meaning Christian woman who does good things because she knows she should. What I want is to make an earth-shattering, reality-altering difference in this world. A real difference.

Spare me, God, from being so self-absorbed that I don’t even notice the private hells of others. Or worse, save me from noticing, but turning away because it seems too hard, too messy, too depressing, or too complicated to help. Yes God, help me to see and hear, but mostly help me to act. That’s what I find magnetically attractive about Leigh Anne – her action. I want to be a woman of action.

A few years ago, I was shaken from my middle class American mom life by a mission trip my family took to Zambia, Africa. We worked with a beautiful group of children whose lives were ravaged by AIDS, poverty that defies description, rampant evil and very real starvation. We’re partnering with a lovely group named Family Legacy who is intervening miraculously on their behalf. For information on the many ways to partner with them, please go to their website, www.legacymissions.org. To see and sponsor one of the children I actually worked with, go to their Father’s Heart page, click Search by Ambassador, then type in my name, Vickey Banks. If my “babies” are all covered, just type in my last name and click on my husband or children’s names.

I’d love to hear of the ways you’ve found to make a difference in this world. Not because we need (or should) toot our horns, but to open each other’s eyes and ears to how we can authentically live out God’s call to be doers and not merely hearers who delude ourselves. (James 1:22). So share with me, please. Let’s talk, and then…let’s do!

Really Relating

What are the ways you’ve found to invest and make a difference in the lives of others? How has trying to change them changed you?

Friends or Family?

2009-11-24T15:26:00.000-08:00

“Friends are the family we get to choose.”

Be honest. If your life was a reality television show, and if you’d been given the opportunity to hand pick who you would and wouldn’t be related to…well, would you have chosen each of your family members??? I’m guessing there’s one or two you would have voted out of your family tree, as well as off the island, the stage, the runway, and the dance floor!

I think that’s one of the reasons that we love our friends so much: they’re not assigned to us; we actually get to pick them. Besides common interests, we share the beliefs and convictions that determine the way we live our very lives. It’s connecting on such deep levels that make our friends more than friends…they actually become our family.

Jesus felt that way about a group of His friends. Once, when He was teaching in someone’s home, He was so surrounded by his closest friends and other followers that his mom and brothers couldn’t even get through the door to talk with Him. When someone told Jesus that His family wanted to see Him, Matthew 12:49-50 says He pointed to His disciples and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." Jesus wasn’t downplaying the importance of family. What He was doing was elevating the importance of friendship. Essentially saying, “These people here get me! They know and accept who I am. They believe in what I believe in. They are so important to me that I consider them as family!”

I’ve always been deeply grateful for my own family of choice, but never more so than now. The truth is my own family is shrinking. In the past three years, my husband and I have grieved the deaths of our family’s patriarch and of both our mothers. My father was then diagnosed with terminal cancer, and we’ve said good-bye to both our children as they’ve flown our homey nest to spread their wings at college. While I’m weary of saying good-bye, I’ve been beautifully blessed with a treasured gift in the midst of this hellaciously hard season:

A much, much welcomed family of choice.

As I count my many blessings this Thanksgiving, I’ll certainly thank God for each and every relative I still have on this earth. But, I won’t stop there. More than ever before, I’ll be thanking Him for the priceless privilege of having another family, a family I get to choose. And because there’s always new friends to be made, that’s a family I can increase. So, be gone shrinkage! Bring on the friends – the family I get to choose!

Really Relating

What do you appreciate most about your family of choice? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Rx for Anxiety

2009-11-16T14:39:00.000-08:00

Worry. It’s the uninvited guest who kidnaps your concentration and causes your heart to race. It sucks the life out of your days and keeps you up at night.

Friday after Friday, I sit in a hard, uninviting waiting room chair, next to my Dad and trying for the life of me to think of something to do or say that will ease the troubled mind of this man who has been my hero my entire life. But, it’s not just his mind that needs quieting. No, it’s also my own. He’s the patient, but the oncology waiting room can hold us both captive.

We’ve been doing this ill-fated dance with terminal Cancer for 2 ½ years now, and to be honest, my head is starting to spin again. What will the doctor say today? What are the results of Dad’s latest scan? Is the cancer growing again? Will he decide to keep doing the treatments that are sapping the life out of him? Or worse, will he not, because they’re no longer working? Oh God, just please don’t let him cry – I don’t think I can take seeing him cry. And, please oh please, please don’t let me cry. Keep me strong for him, God. I feel like I’m holding my breath and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to truly breathe again. God…I think I’m running out of air.

Tenderly, God reminds me of a well-worn passage,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,

WITH THANKSGIVING,

let your requests be known to God.” – Philippians 4:6

Now, my Bible doesn’t really record the phrase “WITH THANKSGIVING” in bold capital letters. The words are there, just not with the emphasis with which I see them. But, it’s that emphasis that God impresses me with over and over again when I start to rework worry in my head. It’s as if He’s saying, “Start your list, Vickey.” He doesn’t have to say anything else, because I know exactly what He means. It’s a little trick He taught me a few years ago…a prescription, if you will, to quiet my overanxious mind. It might not be FDA approved, but it has shaken me out of my negative preoccupation more than once: I just start saying, “Thank You” to God for every single thing that comes to my mind.

Many of my thank yous are related to my worry, but the gratefulness grows. Thank You, God, for doctors that know more about this than we do. Thank You for Heaven and the promise of a place where there’s no more death and dying, no more cancer and chemo and cells gone cookoo, no more tears and saying good-bye. Thank You that I’ve had a father to love and one that loves me. Thank You that no matter what does or doesn’t happen, You will NEVER leave me. Thank You that I can talk to You about anything at anytime. Thank You for being big enough to handle my questions. Thank You for pain medicine and promises from Scripture…

Amazingly, I find that when I “start my list,” my preoccupation does change – even when my circumstances stay the same. My breathing relaxes and the corners of mouth often even turn up into a smile. Instead of fighting tears of concern, I allow grateful ones to fall because I’m reminded that I have a Heavenly Father who knows my fickle heart better than I do, yet passionately loves me anyway. I’m encouraged by rehearsing His character and promised constancy in my life.

Yeah, I’m not a fan of the waiting room. But, you know what? The Great Physician is in. Every single day from here to eternity. And, what is the promised result when we take our medicine and start giving thanks?

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7

Peace. Blissful, life-altering, hope-filled, breath-inflating peace. Ahhhhh, that’s a cure we could all use. I’m more than willing to take my medicine today. How about you?

REALLY RELATING

What are you prone to worry about?

If you were to start your own “with thanksgiving” list, what would be at the top of it today? Let me know so we can thank God together.

The Conversation of Life

2009-11-09T23:07:00.000-08:00

I love a really good conversation. You know, the kind that Nora Ephron might write – especially if her life revolved around a Biblically based, authentic faith in God. The kind of chatty conversation that spills over with what is deep and meaningful, fantastical and oozing with hope-filled dreams, newsy and real, transparent and intimate, but also loaded with belly shaking laughs. A Gilmore Girls meets CS Lewis and the boys at their favorite Eagle & Child hangout in Oxford. Yeah, that’s manna for this quality time craving gal!

A chronic thinker, many of my most animated conversations occur inside my own head. I think that’s why I eventually took to journaling – just trying to make room for all the thoughts that bounce around in this increasingly overcrowded brain of mine. But, there’s nothing like having someone to think and dream and laugh and cry out loud with, is there? A girlfriend who hears your heart and doesn’t think you’ve lost your ever lovin’ mind. A trusted confidante whose head begins to nod and whose eyes mist up when you talk about the darkest night of your soul. Isn’t it incredible when someone shares her own dreams with you, entrusting a little piece of her heart into your hands? And God love the heaven-sent friend whose quick wit and quirky take on things gives you some MUCH needed perspective when you’re fresh out. Someone who alternatively helps you make sense out of things AND isn’t afraid to sometimes say out loud, “You know…I just DON’T know. Sometimes life is just a mess and I’m sorry you’re up to waist in it.”

I do love the conversation of life. The laid-back contemplation, intentional and forward-leaning listening, the kind and caring comments, fast comebacks, whispered secrets, and the gesture-making, volume-rising enthusiasm of it all. Whether you mostly find yourself thinking, listening, talking, or (like some of us) doing them all at the same time…you are part of the conversation of life. And, it’s that conversation that we relate to. I hope that’s what you’ll find here at this blog: a conversation you can relate to. May you feel understood. Heard. May you find some fresh perspective, a good giggle now and then, and something worth both thinking about and commenting on when you finish reading here.

Join me, won’t you. I’d love to share part of life’s conversation with you.

Really Relating

What have some of your most memorable conversations been about? Who have you shared them with and why are you still thinking about them today?